Organization Taunting Session
by MindReader13
Summary: Roxas doesn't understand Organization XIII because of Xemnas' taunting sessions where they practice taunting Sora. One shot.


_This is partially in script format while also from Roxas point of view._

I'll never understand this Organization…and I never have. Honestly, as the Nobody of Sora I have a little bit of an upper hand over the other members though of course they never see it. But you know what…that's fine with me. Axel and me are cool and personally, all one needs is best friends. We always joke around about all the crack that Xemnas comes up with but seriously…the other day, when Axel came back from surveying Castle Oblivion…oh, Xemnas started telling us that story about when we were all in the Organization. You know…as Organization XIII and not, what is it now? Organization VIII? Who has fear of the number VIII? Regardless…Xemnas called them taunting sessions…for what, to taunt my Nobody Sora with this whole Kingdom Hearts deal. It's kind of crappy actually…Xemnas has issues.

You would think that taunting the hero would cause him to kill you rather than you to kill him but I don't think Xemnas is one with the little itty-bitty odds and ends…nope, that's Axel's job actually. So here's what we like to call: Taunting Session.

TAUNTING SESSION

The Enigmatic Statement Training of

Organization XIII

To Further (Or Malign)

Their Plans for

Kingdom Hearts

Xemnas: Okay every one, that doll there is Sora. Granted we can't have the Keyblade Master cause he's running around trying to defeat my Heartless who I absolutely loathe.

Xigbar: Oh brother…he's going to monologue again…and every time he monologues…

Zexion: He annoys the crap out of us.

Vexen: This is taking valuable time away from my research.

Luxord: Want me to speed up time to get it done with?

Xemnas: No! No speeding up! We need to practice our taunting with Sora so we can do it effectively the next time. I have to grade all of you because the hydraulics for our plush chairs in our meeting room are only working for one day!

Lexaeus: I do like the plush chairs.

Axel: You think we could get any more boring?

Roxas: I don't know…wanna burn off the strings on Demyx's guitar?

Axel: Oh yeah! (They walk off to try and do so but Xaldin uses his spears to capture them.)

Xaldin: You two are suffering just like the rest of us.

Axel: Damn…

Roxas: Well, let's ride it out.

Xemnas: Marluxia, you're first. (Marluxia walks up to the doll Sora.)

Marluxia: Along the road ahead lies something you need. However-in order to claim it you must lose something dear to you.

Xemnas: That's good, that's really good!!! I like it. Leads him right into our grasp. Then you can strangle his with those flowers.

Marluxia: I like my plants, I cannot stain them with blood.

Axel: Look! Marly wants to take care of his flowers!

Roxas: He's a garden boy!

Axel and Roxas: Flower Power! Flower Power! Flower Power!

Marluxia: Be quiet.

Saix: Yes, we're trying to taunt Sora…not each other.

Xemnas: Yes. Axel, you're next.

Axel: (whisper to Roxas) Watch this. (He walks up to the Sora doll.) That's what the Organization is after. (Xemnas hits him on the head with a newspaper.)

Xemnas: No, don't reveal our plans!

Axel: Fine, fine…assuming I don't go AWOL. The name's Axel, got it memorized?

Xemnas: Much better! Very tantalizing.

Axel: I think our leader has a serious disorder. (Walks over and stands next to Roxas.)

Xemnas: Larxene!

Larxene: Talk about Heartless!!

Xemnas: Oooh…harsh, biting. I like it. How long did you spend writing that, cause it's good.

Marluxia: Why would she need to rehearse it, she's a bitch anyway.

Larxene: That wasn't what you said last night!!! You jerk!

Axel: Whoa! Marly…and…Larxene…

Roxas: Together…?

Demyx: Now I've seen everything! Ow ow!

Larxene: You want me to snap your little strings on your stupid guitar you little pansy.

Demyx: Hey, it's a sitar!

Larxene: Sitar, guitar, I'm still gonna kick your ass, you water lily. (She summons her kunai.)

Marluxia: Lillies are nice…

Larxene: Shut up, Marly.

Xemnas: Next…Vexen, and no swearing.

Vexen: The other side of your heart knows this place. (So silent you can hear crickets chirping.)

Xemnas: That was terrible, go work on it in your room.

Vexen: Fine…(stalks off but mumbles as he leaves) Maybe I'll experiment on you next.

Roxas: Now we know why he fails the most missions.

Xemnas: Lexaeus.

Lexaeus: I don't talk to them. Let them try what they will. (He walks away calmly.)

Xemnas: Hard as a rock to crack he is…well…hopefully he'll never meet Sora. Zexion, you're next.

Axel: Sexy Zexy…Larxene, why don't you go with him.

Larxene: I'm gonna fry off your nose.

Axel: Nope, I'm the only one that can do that. Burn baby!

Roxas: Axel, you're flaming…again…

Axel: Oh, sorry.

Zexion: I don't dirty my hands so can I not meet Sora?

Xemnas: Fine…You and Lexaeus are two of a kind. (Zexion walks off as well.) All right, Demyx you're up.

Axel, Roxas, Marluxia, and Larxene: Oh crap!

Demyx: Woo hoo!!!! Dance Water Dance!

Xemnas: Okay that's goo-

Demyx: Wait, wait! You shouldn't judge anyone by appearance.

Roxas: Once he gets started-

Demyx: Silence, traitor!

Larxene: And gets riled up…

Demyx: Come on, kick to the beat.

Marluxia: He keeps on going…

Demyx: You guys are looking lively.

Axel: And never stops.

Demyx: Run, run away!

Xemnas: That's enough Demyx…you're good…you're very good…

Demyx: But I have more!!!

Larxene: Not any more you don't! (Larxene runs and chases Demyx out of the room while throwing her kunai.)

Xemnas: Xigbar.

Xigbar: Your time is up!

Xemnas: Xaldin.

Xaldin: So you think!!

Xemnas: Good comment…should be longer though. Luxord.

Luxord: I'd rather we just skip the formalities.

Xemnas: I like that one. Saix. (Saix walks up to the doll and starts beating the crap out of it.)

Saix: There, taunting solved.

Xemnas: (sighs) And I didn't have my chance.

Axel: That's okay, oh Superior…me an Roxas know you have a whole stash of dolls that you probably practice taunting with in your room.

Roxas: What? You mean the dolls you accidentally set on fire?

Axel: Shut up Roxas!

Xemnas: You did what!!!

Axel: Time to go! (He and Roxas flee as Xemnas chases them.)

Yeah, so like I said…I don't know what Xemnas problem is…next time he starts telling stories he'll probably talk about the taunting session after that…but oh well.

FIN

_Hope you enjoyed and please review._


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